sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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