He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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