It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
