PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
