I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just found a bag of teeth...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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