Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
