nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
