sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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