i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How does it feel to date your dad?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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