i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
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We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
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Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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