Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
