got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
