Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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