Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
