I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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