Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
