i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
