As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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