Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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