I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize