bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
