I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
