Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
