last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
