Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
