Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
