What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
