i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
