There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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