D3 body, D1 cock
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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