is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Randomize
