So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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