Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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