I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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