i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
