I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
