One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
