I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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