Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
