in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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