apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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