so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
