He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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