I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
