Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Boobs are out for the taking
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
