Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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