just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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