a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize