That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
