it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
