I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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