It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
