you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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