we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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