Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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