i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize