I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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