did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
