come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
