that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Randomize
