I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
two words: eviction party
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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