Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
