That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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