I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
