you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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