So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
