Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
