then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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