she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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