Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize