The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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