he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
